hey there.
i thought this would be the year that i’d actually have some sense of timeliness when it came to the whole yearly recap thing. clearly, i was wrong.
try as i might, i’ve not figured out how to recap 2021 and i’m at the point where i don’t necessarily want to do so. like every single other post i write, this 2021 recap has been in my drafts for months. i sit with each post for so long, making sure that i said all that i wanted to say in the way i wanted to say it. i’m learning that being misinterpreted is part of the bit, if you will.
i started the year in a dark mental state, but i ended in a place of contentment.
2021 felt like the longest year of my life. i say that every single year and then i say “no, i mean it this time!” but i really do mean it this time. 2021 was a fresh start for me, a new season if you will. i lived a lot of different sub-seasons this year. i had a new cast of characters and the occasional love interest, with of course the same returning roles in the case of my best friends. this year, i sometimes felt out of my body and out of my mind more often than not. i asked myself two questions: what does it mean to be mackenzie c.? and what do i want and how can i give that to myself?
it was a year of putting myself first, and getting to know a twenty-something version of myself.
as cheesy as it sounds, it was truly a year of self-discovery and i’m a better person for it. dare i say i like myself. i’d befriend her in a heartbeat once i got past her RBF.
without further ado, here’s the long-winded list of things i learned from the year. take it or leave it. perhaps the key theme from the year is that everything comes full circle.
- always check the bathroom stall for toilet paper
self-explanatory.
- don’t match energy
i mean this in the way of don’t lower the energy you’re giving someone just because theirs isn’t at your level. if someone isn’t going to at least match the energy you’re giving, i don’t think it’s worth it but maybe that’s just me! stop playing games, it’s just a waste of time. you shouldn’t have to dilute yourself. if you’re excited about someone, be excited! just don’t be naive.
- fail forward
view every failure as one step closer to a success. i started doing this on any plane. once you start looking at every “failure” as a learning experience (and maybe a good story to tell your friends at Starbucks) you’ll start taking more risks. failed a test? okay, call it character development, revamp your studying habits, and vow to do better on the next one. crush rejected you? okay, now you know not to use that stupid pickup line and you’re that much better at handling rejection. and plus, if you did it respectfully they probably respect that you shot your shot. denied from a job opportunity? i bet you gained some valuable interview experience and have a chip on your shoulder, for better or worse. you can always spin something into a more positive light.
- just because you know how to communicate doesn’t mean you’re good at it
i know how to communicate effectively. i know to use “I” statements, and i’m great at active listening. i’m empathetic and somewhat patient on a good day. so, until the question was actually posed to me, i thought i was exceptional at communicating. however, i’m also extremely non-confrontational in the sense that if i don’t care, i won’t expend an ounce of energy in communicating and using this knowledge. you obviously have to be willing to resolve conflict in order to employ those steps. i told you, i’ve figured out a lot about myself. knowing this, i’m going to, uh, work on it. force myself to communicate even when i really don’t feel like it. like exposure therapy almost.
- take everything for face value
this is something i wish that i could scream to my younger self. STOP reading into it! STOP overanalyzing it! i think so many people’s problems would be solved if they just took a step back and accepted things for what they are. though i am definitely guilty of still doing this, nothing grinds my gears more than listening to people spiral about a situation that just is not as deep as they think it is.
stop reading into subtext. if someone has a problem with you, they’ll tell you. don’t entertain passive aggression or anything of the sorts. it saves you from guessing their thoughts and spiraling.
people will tell you how they feel about you, and if they don’t then don’t worry about it. stop overanalyzing every interaction with someone and asking your friends what they think about it. also, you should tell people how you feel too while we’re on that topic but who i am to say?
i hate to tell you this, but them watching your snapchat story means absolutely nothing. i don’t care if they always view it first. did they text and ask to see you? make plans to see you? oh, get out, they didn’t? then it means nothing, go about your day and stop wasting your time. “if they wanted to, they would” applies here, but also if you want to, then why aren’t you?
- every person won’t check every box for you
and you shouldn’t expect them to do so. different people serve different purposes in your life. some friends are only “work friends” and you don’t really hang out outside of that realm. other people are gym friends, or party friends. your significant other won’t check every box for you, even though i think they should check a majority. there are needs that we look to others to fulfill, we’re human and thrive off of connection, but there are also needs that can and should be fulfilled by ourselves. depending on one person to check your boxes creates some issues.
- you can’t make a highway out of a dead end
know when to pivot your energy and attention to something else.
- it’s never going to get better after the beginning
people are on their best behavior at the beginning of something whether it’s a relationship or a job or what have you. so if they aren’t meeting your standards (or surpassing them) from the start, it’s only going to get worse over time because they get comfortable. let me know if i’m wrong, but i know i’m not.
- if it’s not a good time, it’s a good story
think of how many times you’ve found yourself in a crappy situation only to laugh about it with your friends later.
and last but not least, my personal favorite.
…if you never take it seriously, ya never get hurt. if ya never get hurt, ya always have fun…
Penny Lane, Almost Famous (2000)
i’ll see you soon
and if not here,
then somewhere groovy (& hopefully warm)
& i love you ❤
Mackenzie
The Mackadamia Nut 