i’m a huge simp for my home team.
Before coming to college, I thrived on spending my free time alone. Maybe that was because I was forced to spend 7+ hours with people that wouldn’t necessarily be my first choice of accompaniment. Nonetheless, I’ve discovered since being in college that I prefer to spend my free time with my people. The ones whose energy doesn’t drain me but instead makes me feel safe and whole. I learned in my winter term class which is about happiness and how to lead a flourishing life that meaningful relationships are the most important factor, besides purpose, in an individual’s happiness. So here I am with a friend group that has never been better.
This post is inspired by a bro (Nick) who hypothetically asked me what i would say at his funeral. And so i texted his “eulogy” back to him. In reality, it caught me off guard. then again, not unusual when talking to him. I realized that it was a great idea. Eulogies are usually where people recap the deceased’s best qualities and they dote on how great of a person they were. Well i’m not going to wait until my friend’s have hit their expiration date to dote on them. Change these tributes to past tense and you’ll get a eulogy.
look everybody—nick and i’s friendship is a solid example of how people are brought into your life at the right time (cheesy i know). he kept it real and was the kind of guy that wasn’t just all talk but the kind where you could tell they meant what they said and could back it up. he wasn’t afraid to be blunt and to skip over small talk which i respected immensely. he was raw and real and my homie. hella funny but hella deep. my kinda person all in one. and that’s nick folks *mic drop*
nick’s eulogy through iMessage
Alas, this blog post was reinvented. I say reinvented because it’s been sitting in my drafts since January, untouched, because I just didn’t know how to do it and I didn’t want to force it. Though the written word seems to have a permanent vibe, it can be redrafted. Over & over & over. So as long as my friends are breathing they’re evolving and so are the ways in which i admire them. These tributes are for the here and now, subject to change in time. Breathing eulogies for breathing beloveds.
LEX
“she’s beauty, she’s grace, she’s Miss United States”
Let’s be honest, Miss USA has nothin’ on my OG. Throwing it back to third grade Student Council. We became bros and the first sleepover ensued. Since then, our friendship has ebbed and flowed yet has been consistent at the same time. She saw me through my social awkwardness in elementary school, saw me struggle through junior high as all young teens do, saw me glide through high school (best office assistants/vb pepper partners? i think yes), and now she’s by my side as I moonwalk through my messy late-teens/early twenties, helping me try to find myself. Nothing goes unshared between us. even with her at IUPUI and me at DePauw, we still manage to be best friends. I don’t get to watch The Bachelor with her on Monday nights or eat breakfast with her like I do with my other friends. And i wish i could because i miss her while we’re at school. But i’m just happy to have the privilege to be the one she can FaceTime with updates on her week or a good rant session. And i snapchat her probably twenty times a day, oops. She gives some of the best advice and is one of the wisest/most mature 18 year olds i know. The manner in which she carries herself is impeccable. Elegant, most of the time. Classy yet not afraid to get trashy. I’d say the world isn’t ready for her, but she’s already mentally there. She’s so responsible and driven, it’s refreshing. Maybe disciplined is the word, but obviously not in a drill sergeant way. I love a person who keeps it real with me and can be honest even when i’m not honest with myself. Her perspective on life is cherished by many. Many times her opinion is valued over many others. Being with Lex is a safe space for me. i am my true self (for better or for worse) with her. I’ve spent countless nights at the Robinson household (really just to visit her mom aha). Our souls are made of the same stuff. She is undoubtedly my person. And i would not hesitate to get her handwriting tattooed on me either.
RACHEL
Another OG who saw me from elementary school to my current position. Even though she lives in FL now and we’re essentially on different paths of life, my homegirl is only a phone call away. It’s hard to stay in the loop with each other because we are so far away, but we still exchange some crazy stories. My life is better knowing that somewhere down south, Rachel Miller is there. Just knowing that a pure spirit like her is out there is comforting to me. Rach is my crazy girl. I will always be her cheerleader. A true girl boss, she inspires me everyday w her crazy endeavors whether it’s planning a nine month mission trip, moving to FL spontaneously, or becoming an online fitness coach. I have never doubted her because she makes things happen. I remember she came home last august to pack her things to move to Florida and she casually mentioned that she had a goal to run a half marathon. i only bat an eye because this was coming from the girl who absolutely despised running. But i knew if she made a goal she’d get it done. And she did. Even though she’s super motivated, she’s also super fun. Ditsy? of course. But it’s one of the reasons why i love her. She’s my go-to girl for any spontaneous idea. For any indy blue fans out there, Rach is Courtney Hill’s soul sister, no doubt in my mind.
EDDIE
the one and only. the guy who dubbed Reagan and I “Renegade and Noodles” during a late night excursion to local hole in the wall, Marvin’s. to sum up eddy and i’s friendship: sad music (specifically lewis capaldi), introversion, asiago bagels, wiener dogs, and a whole lot of laughter. We discovered a mutual love for The Lumineers and the rest is history. I guess when you spend four weeks together and two of those weeks in a foreign country, you get pretty close. Eddie was BR 223’s fourth roommate and i almost petitioned to get him card access so i wouldn’t have to trek downstairs to let him in all the time. He’s the wittiest person i know and i can always count on him to make me laugh. Also this is my moment to clarify– WE AREN’T A COUPLE! just best friends. respect the iconicity, pls and thank you.
He’s blue– melancholic and calm with sad indie music playing in the background. But sometimes he’s lime green–awake and alive and when i’m with lime green eddie, it feels like i can do anything. We are on top of the world, and i love life a little bit more everytime. That’s my favorite aspect of him, i regard his moods with a sense of reverence. When he sends me a song on spotify, i listen to it immediately because I know it will be my next favorite. I brag about eddie to everyone i know and i know people are like “okay this guy can’t live up to the hype.” Yet everyone that meets him loves him. I like to think that i have great taste in people, subtle flex. He’s intelligent and i think he knows what he wants out of life which i appreciate because i take this wild ride one hairpin turn at a time. Now, we’re taking on DePauw one Hoover meal, crowning of which one of us is “DePauw’s Biggest Tragedy”, and impulsive decision at a time. Keep up with our journey to becoming DePauw’s most iconic and inseparable duo. We are kindred spirits for sure.
RUBI
Rubi is one of those friends that you can count on even if you hadn’t really hung out in a while. A few weeks ago, I had a high fever and felt super sick. And who offered to go to the doctor with me at like 8:30 p.m.??? Rubi. She has the best stories too. She travels a lot, has been to i don’t know how many countries. So obviously she has some great substance to tell. I met the Jonas Brothers with her. How, you ask? Get this, she’s somehow related to Nick Jonas’ wife, Priyanka. Crazy, i know. Rubi is somewhat mysterious, with a past that only presents itself in small pieces. but she’s loyal as ever with a good head on her shoulders. Did i mention she’s crazy smart? a STEM goddess, my reading/writing mind is envious. She’s my cheerleader, and i can’t thank her enough. (also one of the ‘Nut’s biggest fans) She’s a girl boss and pursues opportunity like no other. Rubi went to Ecuador this past January with the Timmy Global Health program! So basically if she doesn’t end up a doctor, we’ll all be working for her in one way or another, mark my words.
REAGAN
Shoutout to Reagan (aka Renegade), she has to live with me for another four months ahahaha.* (yeah so I THOUGHT) But really, having your roommate as one of your best friends makes college living so much easier. If the walls of BR 223 could talk…well let’s just be glad they can’t. ha kidding. Those walls would describe evening rants about the kinds of things only teenage girls know about and those rants would be met with open minds and listening ears and a full heart. They’d talk about how many times she walked in on me completely naked while i was changing. Sorry bout that, bad timing. Midnight easy mac. A LOT of crying sessions. Tooooo many rice cakes. Some ~interesting~ visitors. And they’d see a sad goodbye on March 14. (spoiler i ugly cried the first hour driving home) We won’t ever be roommates again because we’re in different sororities (KKG, pls accept my application as an honorary member). Our season of life is over (peep me tearing up as i write this) but i am so glad i got as much time as i did.
Now onto more important things–who’s supposed to eat my yellow starbursts?? Whenever someone *asks about my roommate, I go on like a five minute tangent about how lucky I got. Reagan is pure human sunshine. Anyone who knows her or has met her will agree. I made her model for me a few times so i could work on photography with a DSLR that I would check out from our media program (pro tip- why buy when you can rent for free?) My girl can WORK a photoshoot. her looks are a lot like her personality. she’s naturally pretty, the kind that can wake up after a restless night or panting at the finish line of a 5k and still look great. She’s real, not fake in any way. If Reagan was a song she’d be “Sunflower” by Rex Orange County. Don’t ask me why, she just is. She has a heart of gold and deserves the world; hopefully she realizes it soon. “It’s Wednesday my dude” hits different now, Renegade.
*proof that I started this a while ago-when I thought I’d be leaving campus in a packed car in May, oof
ANI
Speaking of hearts of gold, my girl Ani embodies it well. We met through Servicio too. Ani was actually my first “friend” in Servicio. Seeing as she lived down the hall, it’s only fitting that she be known as BR 223’s third roommate. How convenient to send a text saying “come over” and hear the same knock at the door within seconds. She’s spunky as hell and will not hesitate to throw hands for any of her friends. Her love is deep and fierce, she’s definitely a mama bear. Ani’s spirit is contagious and she is light. To go along with her spunk is an unbreakable spirit. She’s been through hell and back yet she does it in a graceful way from which i can only hope to learn. She’s a “real strong woman” and also my new sorority sister (what up alpha chi)! When you’re around Ani, you can’t help but admire her (and her insane hair–really, it’s like something you’d expect from a Disney princess but like a cool one, like Merida from Brave). I remember during one of our deep talks, she said that she struggled with vulnerability. Though i didn’t say anything, i was so shocked. This girl was the most open (even if indirectly) and all-in person ever. Her presence wraps you up in a bear hug and makes you feel like everything will be okay, even if its not at the moment. When she came into my life, she was a game changer in all of my relationships. Ani makes me feel okay to talk about the hard things. She lets me talk and talk about how i was feeling without trying to justify it. Because sometimes its enough to feel without trying to find the why. Hopefully she’ll be there on my wedding day, along with the other people in this blog. She taught me the power of idealization and how it can make or often times break you. The girl that supposedly struggles with vulnerability taught me how to be vulnerable.
With all this being said, if you made it this far i encourage you to dote on your friends a little bit. Especially in the current times where i hope you’re social distancing. And for those long distance friends too or the ones you don’t always keep in touch with, give them some love too.
& i love you ❤️
MACK
The Mackadamia Nut 