Let’s take it back now y’all (one hop THIS TIME, righ-) no we aren’t going back to the cha cha slide blaring over the speakers in our high school cafeteria.

Instead we’re taking it back to a special memory of mine.

Allow me to set the scene. I’m on a private island smaller than a football field off the coast of Panamá. Really living, no flex. It’s nighttime and my group just finished playing a round of Sardines. One of my friends coerces me and my other friends to go “star tipping.”

I asked if that was anything like cow tipping. You can take the girl out of the Midwest but can’t take the Midwest out of the girl.

So there I am, an earbud in my left ear, the right in my BFF’s ear as Ed Sheeran’s “Castle on the Hill” plays. We had just made a Spotify playlist full of sad songs bc we share that personality aesthetic. “las horas de puta triste” type THAT one in google translate.

As Ed Sheeran’s voice plays, I’m watching this star tipping thing go down. Basically, you look up at the stars while spinning as fast as you can in a circle. Your friends count to 30 and then you stop immediately and they shine a flashlight in you face and try your hardest not to fall down. Odd I know, but so exhilarating.

I watched my friend demonstrate thinking at first what the HELL is this kid doing?? But then I laughed. And laughed some more. And I didn’t stop because I realized what did it even matter? I thought he was crazy at first but then I swear Ed Sheeran stopped serenading me, the world did a little blur in slow motion, and a little voice was like girl, you’re on a beach. At midnight-ish. With these people you’ve only known for less than a month yet you’ve survived a foreign country with them while speaking another language. You still have inhibitions?!

Then Ed sang again and the spectacle resumed. And I felt, dare I say it- joy. Complete unbridled JOY. The chorus began and you bet your grandma’s prized knitting needles I sang. No, I SCREAMED the lyrics with the waves crashing in the background. I looked up and noticed all the twinkling stars (twinkling bc I really had tears in my eyes, no cap). In rural Indiana, I see stars all the time, but not like this.

Suddenly, it was my turn to star tip. I was ready. I spun as fast as I could, mouth wide open in raucous laughter, as the stars blurred into white streaks against the black sky. I distinctly remember telling myself that I should hold on to this moment so tightly. To remember the powerful emotions. I closed my eyes and felt my toes stirring cool sand all over. My hair, probably unwashed, flopped this way and that. And when my friends yelled 30, I peered into blinding light and collapsed HARD into the sand on my butt.

I know while what is now just a memory for me, one that I’ve never shared, it was important to me. I felt so so alive. I wasn’t just going through the motions of daily life or operating on autopilot. I wasn’t just happy either. I have lots of daily happy moments and that’s not to take anything away from those moments and say they’re lessened because they’re common. No way. But I’m saying this was different. I was high on life (nothing else mom I swear!). I tried to make you people who are reading this (lol aka my sister and parents, maybe) feel what I felt. And I know that’s very hard to convey through a piece of writing.

Going forward in life, I’m chasing more moments like this. I’m young, and with youth comes (responsible, come on I said my family reads these things) recklessness. And I’m determined to make my life a montage of as many of those alive-moments as possible while muddled with everyday life of course. And that’s not to say everyday life shouldn’t be special. Big stan of romanticizing my life, it’s like my own movie.

With that being said, I hope my readers chase life and make it as grand and crazy as possible.

Life is a highway and I wanna ride it

MACK

PS- in my bag about music again. A playlist post to come??? I’ve got some good vibezzz on the way